Busy Saturday

Thought I should update my "journal". That's what I consider this log to be, a journal.

I started my master's course the end of February. I have completed two courses and have just begun a third. It's been difficult. The first course was demanding----a bunch of philosophy tests and experiences to introduce me to to the ideology of administration. It was quite a learning experience. I have completely changed my mind about administrators. They have an enormous task before them. I thought it was pretty much just disciplining kids, helping teachers work together as a core, and dealing with parents. Not so, there is so much more to the equation. I have a great deal of respect for them---I respected them before, but my respect has definitely grown.

The second class, research, was a bear! There were to be exams each week (2 hour, open book). The reading and the research took me 5- 6 hours every night, all day on Saturday, and most of Sunday. I scored 63 on the first exam and 77 on the second. I really thought I had fared fairly well on the second exam when I submitted it. The questions were multiple choice with multiple answers (a. 1, 2, and 3 or b. none of the above, etc.). We discovered that many of the questions on the first exam were actually taken from the assignments in the second week of the course.

Many participants (probably all participants) were frustrated and upset. Some are taking the coursework on a grant and would lose their grant because of their test scores. One of the members started a facebook account for us. That opened up the fury. Many people wrote to the dean, the professors, anybody they could get to listen. The assignments were ambiguous---and on and on.

After that second test, I cried and cried....so frustrated. I was certain I had made a mistake taking on this master's program. Maybe I'm just too old to do this kind of thinking. I really didn't catch on to what I was supposed to be doing until towards the end of the second week, maybe the beginning of the third week. I went to my principal, Mr. Sandoval (who I have also selected as my site sponsor), and expressed my frustration. I told him that I had decided to withdraw from the program. He encouraged me to stick it out, that it will be worth it in the long run. He's working on his doctorate and was having research problems himself. In fact, he had just told his wife that he felt like he should quit. She encouraged him to tough it out. I guess I'll keep plugging along. If I can manage a C in this class, I'll be a happy camper.

I prayed constantly for help with this course. I was really experiencing a feeling of oppression and probably some depression was setting in. I was so discouraged----I didn't remember college being this hard. I now have the firm belief that young people should get their masters' degree as quickly after their bachelors' degree as possible. It's just too hard to get into the swing of studying and writing papers after a 37 year gap----I graduated from BYU 37 years ago! Now I'm thinking that was quite an accomplishment!!

Well, the powers that be listened to our complaints. They changed the test from 2 hours to 3 hours (the second test was 3 hours----one extra hour to plow through material). I spent 2 1/2 hours on the test and really didn't know how to answer the rest of the questions so I stopped, hence the 77, I guess. Again, troubles were everywhere and the parameters were changed once again. They threw out the tests----no tests for the course, but the final paper would be worth 40% of our grade. That was a bit scary.

I finally caught on to how to research and turned in all of my assignments. I scored 100 on each assignment and on the final---except for a 5 point deduction the first assignment because I forgot to address an issue on the discussion board. My final grade was 100!! Amazing. I think one of the problems was that there were 3 professors and it was as if they weren't communicating with each other, just making arbitrary assignments. I think that after they reviewed the tests and the course material, they realized where the errors were and made appropriate changes.

Boy, was I a bear to live with. I was getting really depressed, I was nervous all the time, and I had become a screaming meamie! I don't know how Mike put up with me during that time (actually, it's a miracle he's put up with me through the years, I know I'm not the easiest person to live with). After I caught on, it wasn't so bad----still worked 5-6 hours (they said to plan on 8 hours per week----right) each night. I was never so glad as the day I pressed that submit button on the very last assignment. Luckily we also had a three week break until the new class was to begin!! That was a wonderful three weeks. The course was difficult, on many levels, but I really learned a great deal from the course.

The saddest part of the whole experience was that Hayley's baby, Miles, was born right in the middle of the course----when I was still having a lot of trouble. She went into labor the morning of Friday, April 10th. I was teaching and unable to take the day off. Dad drove down to Mansfield to take care of the boys while Hayley and David left for the hospital. She was afraid she would have the baby before he got there. Even as they were on their way, there was an accident on the freeway that slowed them down. She made it to the hospital in time to have the baby, but she was far enough along in her labor that they were unable to do an epidural. She had the baby naturally. She said it was really rough, but a lot easier to recover from---she liked that part the best.

We took the boys to the hospital that evening to see their new brother. That was such a sweet experience. Janna and her husband were there. I was really glad that we got to do that. We kept the boys until they came home from the hospital on Sunday evening. That was the last I saw of them for a while. I didn't even call her----I was so entrenched in my coursework and so nervous about my situation, I didn't come "out of my shell" to even pay attention to my precious daughter and her new baby.

Linda Potts, her mother-in-law, and Krista, her sister-in-law, took the boys for most of the next two weeks. David was off work that first week. She was fine, but I should have been there for her. I still feel really bad about that----but it's history, and now I just need to do better.

I have begun my second course, Diversity in schools. We're starting out confused once again. The text is great (oh, yes, we have another text for this course. This is the third text and we were told we would only have 2 texts the entire program---I even heard someone mention a text for the next course as well----money, money). We have 4 chapters from the text, 10 articles to read, and a fairly easy assignment. The problem is the discussion board. None of us know what our assignment is for the discussion board. I think we're just blindly submitting some thoughts, not really knowing what was expected----the directions are obscure and we can't get clarification from any of our academic coaches. Here we go again----the discussion board is only worth a few points, so I'm just not going to let it bother me.

Hayley and the boys came to visit for a few days. We wanted to get some sewing projects and maybe a couple of house projects taken care of. We've been able to make a birthday chair back cover and that's about it. It turned out really cute, and she did most of the work on it. I just finished up the hem and the side seams. She chose some great colors. I'll try to get a picture of it to add to the blog.

I need to create a powerpoint presentation for Primary tomorrow. It takes 5- 6 hours to do that----it only takes about an hour or so to actually create the slides from the Primary lesson, but hunting for pictures to enhance the slides takes forever. A couple of weeks ago I had decided that I was spending way too much time on it. I had determined not to make any more slide shows. I really like the slide show format because it keeps the kids focused, and we have some busy little minds that definitely require focusing.

During the week after I decided not to make anymore slide shows, I received an e-mail from sugardoodle. net's Melanie Day. She was forwarding an e-mail to me from a sister who was using the slide show for her grandson. He has severe autism. She had prayed fervently for help in teaching him the gospel. He is unable to sit through opening exercises or be in a formal classroom setting. Music time is the worst for him (part of the problem for children with autism is that they are bombarded with sounds all around----we isolate specific sounds but they hear everything from the car horn to the hum of a fan to the whine of an air conditioner----all at the same volume. Music time becomes extremely difficult for them).

She expressed gratitude for the slide show lessons. Her grandson responded to the computer format and was able to focus on the lesson. She said that they were an answer to prayer. I'm guessing that's why I just couldn't stop. Each lesson was progressively better as I added pictures, music, etc. Now I feel that I can't stop. I also worry that it's not quite good enough. I'll continue, for him.

A couple of weeks ago Melissa Kemple, the 11-year-old's Primary teacher came over to me after church and said, "Can I shake the hand of a famous person?" She had found my powerpoints on snickerdoodle.net and had used it that day. She said she loved it. Two weeks ago she talked with me about it. I told her about the e-mail from Melanie. I also told her how long it takes me to create one. She said that after she comes back from vacation, she'd like me to teach her how to create a slide show and she'll take turns with me. That would be nice. We are both "students" and that would really help both of us. I'm just thankful that I can do something to help others and hope that I do a good enough job.

I need to close now, I still need to create a powerpoint for tomorrow's lesson. I just need to add to this blog everyday, instead of occasionally, then the post won't be so long and boring.